Women often tell me that they are afraid of negotiation, that they either just do not know how to do it to get what they want or that they do not have confidence that they will be ready enough for any negotiation.
Whether it is a salary negotiation, bidding on a job, or solving a problem on a job site, you can have an effective negotiation and get the results you seek following some logical and well-planned steps.
The very first step is to start in your own head. The voices in our heads often dissuade us of our ability to successfully negotiate. Just say "no" to those voices!
Negotiation does not need to be equated with conflict. In fact, starting with thinking about the issue as a problem to solve and that your negotiation partner is part of your process in reaching a solution will help reorient your view. Because women are natural collaborators, if we approach our negotiations as getting a deal done rather than getting a "win," we are more likely to enter the process with confidence. And confidence will get you halfway to your goal!
Your mindset—how you look at the world and your attitudes that influence how you interpret situations—plays a key role in how you negotiate. Often our mindset in a negotiation is that we are in opposition to our negotiation partner. In many situations, your negotiation partner may hold an opposing view or position. However, if you start with the mindset that your "opponent" is instead your "partner" in reaching your goal, your entire mindset and all of your resulting actions will change.
Instead of, "I can't believe they won't give me a raise," think, "I can explain to you why a raise will be beneficial not only for me but also for the firm." You can see how your discussion will automatically change.
In addition, when you enter into a discussion with this collaborative mindset , you tap into your natural tendency to find effective solutions and carry an inherent amount of self confidence that will make others want to agree with you.
In relationships, whether they are person or business relationships, no one really wants conflict. If your mindset is such that you are seeking a collaborative solution, others will naturally want to join you on this journey.
Now that your mindset is attuned, we will discuss in my negotiation blog some practical steps to prepare for your negotiation. If you have any comments or questions, please post them and start a dialogue.
Related Stories
| Jan 4, 2011
An official bargain, White House loses $79 million in property value
One of the most famous office buildings in the world—and the official the residence of the President of the United States—is now worth only $251.6 million. At the top of the housing boom, the 132-room complex was valued at $331.5 million (still sounds like a bargain), according to Zillow, the online real estate marketplace. That reflects a decline in property value of about 24%.
| Jan 4, 2011
Luxury hotel planned for Palace of Versailles
Want to spend the night at the Palace of Versailles? The Hotel du Grand Controle, a 1680s mansion built on palace grounds for the king's treasurer and vacant since the French Revolution, will soon be turned into a luxury hotel. Versailles is partnering with Belgian hotel company Ivy International to restore the dilapidated estate into a 23-room luxury hotel. Guests can live like a king or queen for a while—and keep their heads.
| Jan 4, 2011
Grubb & Ellis predicts commercial real estate recovery
Grubb & Ellis Company, a leading real estate services and investment firm, released its 2011 Real Estate Forecast, which foresees the start of a slow recovery in the leasing market for all property types in the coming year.
| Jan 4, 2011
Furniture Sustainability Standard - Approved by ANSI and Released for Distribution
BIFMA International recently announced formal American National Standards Institute (ANSI) approval and release of the ANSI/BIFMA e3-2010 Furniture Sustainability Standard. The e3 standard represents a structured methodology to evaluate the "sustainable" attributes of furniture products and constitutes the technical criteria of the level product certification program.
| Jan 3, 2011
Chicago Architectural Foundation’s media expert takes all 85 tours in one year
Jennifer Lucente, the social media expert at the Chicago Architecture Foundation has completed her year of taking tours—taking all 85 tours in 2010. The challenge that began last January with a tour of the Board of Trade building has ended today with the architecture foundation’s newest tour: Razzle Dazzle – featuring the Loop theater district followed by a celebration at the Chicago Theatre.
| Dec 28, 2010
Project of the Week: Community college for next-gen Homeland Security personnel
The College of DuPage, Glen Ellyn, Ill., began work on the Homeland Security Education Center, which will prepare future emergency personnel to tackle terrorist attacks and disasters. The $25 million, 61,100-sf building’s centerpiece will be an immersive interior street lab for urban response simulations.
| Dec 20, 2010
Architect Adrian D. Smith on zero-energy cities, new technologies, and high density.
Adrian D. Smith, FAIA, RIBA, is co-founder (with Gordon Gill) of Adrian Smith + Gordon Gill Architecture, Chicago. Previously, he was a design partner in the Chicago office of Skidmore, Owings & Merrill (1980-2003) and a consulting design partner from 2004 to 2006. His landmark structures include the Jin Mao Tower (Shanghai), Rowes Wharf (Boston), and Burj Khalifa (Dubai, U.A.E.), the world’s tallest structure. He recently collaborated with Gordon Gill to design the world’s first net-zero-energy skyscraper, Pearl River Tower, now nearing completion in Guangzhou, China. This account is based on his recent remarks at the Illinois Institute of Technology.
| Dec 17, 2010
BIM Tools Enhance Project Value
The Building Team for a renovation project at Georgia Tech uses BIM and 3D design tools to solve a complex millwork problem.
| Dec 17, 2010
Historic Rhode Island hotel reborn with modern amenities
The iconic Ocean House resort in Watch Hill, R.I., had to be torn down in 2005 when systemic deficiencies made restoration unfeasible. Centerbrook Architects and Planners, Centerbrook, Conn., designed a new version of the hotel, working with preservation societies to save or recreate favorite elements of the original building, and incorporating them into the contemporary structure. The new resort has 49 guest rooms and 23 residences, plus banquet halls, a corporate boardroom, a private clubroom, a spa and fitness center, an indoor lap pool, a bar, and the obligatory international croquet court. Dimeo Construction, Providence, R.I., was the construction manager.
