Women often tell me that they are afraid of negotiation, that they either just do not know how to do it to get what they want or that they do not have confidence that they will be ready enough for any negotiation.
Whether it is a salary negotiation, bidding on a job, or solving a problem on a job site, you can have an effective negotiation and get the results you seek following some logical and well-planned steps.
The very first step is to start in your own head. The voices in our heads often dissuade us of our ability to successfully negotiate. Just say "no" to those voices!
Negotiation does not need to be equated with conflict. In fact, starting with thinking about the issue as a problem to solve and that your negotiation partner is part of your process in reaching a solution will help reorient your view. Because women are natural collaborators, if we approach our negotiations as getting a deal done rather than getting a "win," we are more likely to enter the process with confidence. And confidence will get you halfway to your goal!
Your mindset—how you look at the world and your attitudes that influence how you interpret situations—plays a key role in how you negotiate. Often our mindset in a negotiation is that we are in opposition to our negotiation partner. In many situations, your negotiation partner may hold an opposing view or position. However, if you start with the mindset that your "opponent" is instead your "partner" in reaching your goal, your entire mindset and all of your resulting actions will change.
Instead of, "I can't believe they won't give me a raise," think, "I can explain to you why a raise will be beneficial not only for me but also for the firm." You can see how your discussion will automatically change.
In addition, when you enter into a discussion with this collaborative mindset , you tap into your natural tendency to find effective solutions and carry an inherent amount of self confidence that will make others want to agree with you.
In relationships, whether they are person or business relationships, no one really wants conflict. If your mindset is such that you are seeking a collaborative solution, others will naturally want to join you on this journey.
Now that your mindset is attuned, we will discuss in my negotiation blog some practical steps to prepare for your negotiation. If you have any comments or questions, please post them and start a dialogue.
Related Stories
| Feb 14, 2014
Scrap tires used to boost masonry blocks at Missouri University of S&T
Research could lead to blocks that use waste material and have seismic and insulating benefits.
| Feb 14, 2014
Giant interactive pinwheel adds fun to museum exterior
The proposed design for the Santa Cruz Museum of Art and History features a 10-foot pinwheel that can be activated by passersby.
| Feb 14, 2014
First look: Kentucky's Rupp Arena to get re-clad as part of $310M makeover
Rupp Arena will get a 40-foot high glass façade and a new concourse, but will retain many of its iconic design elements.
| Feb 14, 2014
Must see: Developer stacks shipping containers atop grain silos to create student housing tower
Mill Junction will house up to 370 students and is supported by 50-year-old grain silos.
| Feb 14, 2014
The Technology Report 2014: Top tech tools and trends for AEC professionals
In this special five-part report, Building Design+Construction explores how Building Teams throughout the world are utilizing advanced robotics, 3D printers, drones, data-driven design, and breakthroughs in building information modeling to gain efficiencies and create better buildings.
| Feb 14, 2014
Crowdsourced Placemaking: How people will help shape architecture
The rise of mobile devices and social media, coupled with the use of advanced survey tools and interactive mapping apps, has created a powerful conduit through which Building Teams can capture real-time data on the public. For the first time, the masses can have a real say in how the built environment around them is formed—that is, if Building Teams are willing to listen.
| Feb 13, 2014
University officials sound off on net zero energy buildings
As part of its ongoing ZNE buildings research project, Sasaki Associates, in collaboration with Buro Happold, surveyed some 500 campus designers and representatives on the top challenges and opportunities for achieving net-zero energy performance on university and college campuses.
| Feb 13, 2014
3 keys to designing freestanding emergency departments
Having physically disassociated from a central hospital, FEDs must overcome the particular challenges associated with a satellite location, namely a lack of awareness, appeal, and credibility. Gresham, Smith & Partners' Kristin Herman-Druc offers three keys to success.
| Feb 13, 2014
Why you should start with a builder
They say the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Expanding your building or constructing a new structure for your business, church, or school isn’t all that different. Attacking it is best done in small, deliberate pieces.
| Feb 13, 2014
Related Companies, LargaVista partner to develop mixed-use tower in SoHo
The site is located at the gateway to the booming SoHo retail market, where Class A office space is scarce yet highly in demand.