Women often tell me that they are afraid of negotiation, that they either just do not know how to do it to get what they want or that they do not have confidence that they will be ready enough for any negotiation.
Whether it is a salary negotiation, bidding on a job, or solving a problem on a job site, you can have an effective negotiation and get the results you seek following some logical and well-planned steps.
The very first step is to start in your own head. The voices in our heads often dissuade us of our ability to successfully negotiate. Just say "no" to those voices!
Negotiation does not need to be equated with conflict. In fact, starting with thinking about the issue as a problem to solve and that your negotiation partner is part of your process in reaching a solution will help reorient your view. Because women are natural collaborators, if we approach our negotiations as getting a deal done rather than getting a "win," we are more likely to enter the process with confidence. And confidence will get you halfway to your goal!
Your mindset—how you look at the world and your attitudes that influence how you interpret situations—plays a key role in how you negotiate. Often our mindset in a negotiation is that we are in opposition to our negotiation partner. In many situations, your negotiation partner may hold an opposing view or position. However, if you start with the mindset that your "opponent" is instead your "partner" in reaching your goal, your entire mindset and all of your resulting actions will change.
Instead of, "I can't believe they won't give me a raise," think, "I can explain to you why a raise will be beneficial not only for me but also for the firm." You can see how your discussion will automatically change.
In addition, when you enter into a discussion with this collaborative mindset , you tap into your natural tendency to find effective solutions and carry an inherent amount of self confidence that will make others want to agree with you.
In relationships, whether they are person or business relationships, no one really wants conflict. If your mindset is such that you are seeking a collaborative solution, others will naturally want to join you on this journey.
Now that your mindset is attuned, we will discuss in my negotiation blog some practical steps to prepare for your negotiation. If you have any comments or questions, please post them and start a dialogue.
Related Stories
Museums | Mar 9, 2015
Architecture based on astronomy principles for new planetarium in Shanghai
The ancient Chinese civilization left some of the earliest records of humans studying the stars and skies. To exhibit this long history, a new planetarium and astronomy museum is planned for construction in Shanghai.
Architects | Mar 9, 2015
Study explores why high ceilings are popular
High ceilings give us a sense of freedom, new research finds
Cultural Facilities | Mar 9, 2015
London council nixes plans to rebuild the Crystal Palace
Plans for the new Crystal Palace Park were scrapped when the city and the project's developer could come to an agreement before the 16-month exclusivity contract expired.
Office Buildings | Mar 7, 2015
Chance encounters in workplace design: The winning ticket to the innovation lottery?
The logic behind the push to cultivate chance encounters supposes that innovation is akin to a lottery. But do chance encounters reliably and consistently yield anything of substance?
Architects | Mar 6, 2015
Study suggests our brains prefer curvy architecture
A research team at the University of Toronto at Scarborough worked with several European designers to see what sort of spaces pleases our brains more. Their finding: People are far more likely to call a room beautiful when its design is round instead of linear.
Justice Facilities | Mar 5, 2015
New courthouse blossoms into a civic space for one California town
The building's canopy suggests classical courthouse features of front porch and portico. It also helps connect the building with a public plaza that has re-centered civic activity and public gathering for the town.
Justice Facilities | Mar 5, 2015
State of the state: How state governments are funding construction projects
State budget shortfalls are making new construction and renovation projects a tough sell, leading lawmakers to seek alternative funding for these jobs.
Museums | Mar 5, 2015
A giant, silver loop in Dubai will house the Museum of the Future
The Sheikh of Dubai hopes the $136 million museum will serve as an incubator for ideas and real designs—a global destination for inventors and entrepreneurs.
Sports and Recreational Facilities | Mar 5, 2015
New HOK designs for St. Louis NFL stadium unveiled
Missouri Governor Jay Nixon has assembled a task force to develop plans for an open-air NFL stadium on the North Riverfront of downtown St. Louis.
Codes and Standards | Mar 5, 2015
Charlotte, N.C., considers rule for gender-neutral public bathrooms
A few other cities, including Philadelphia, Austin, Texas, and Washington D.C., already have gender-neutral bathroom regulations.